Technology meets its dating match: Swipe right for love
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Ahhhh, Tinder. Like many types of technology, this dating app has sped up the process of how we do things, and how we interact. Gone are the days of actually meeting in person—who does that anymore? Now traditional – some may say, antiquated – courtship happens faster than you can click I have read the terms and conditions. With a quick swipe left or right, it’s either anonymous rejection or a match made in instant electronic heaven. While the meaning of a match can be as deep as a puddle and connections can come and go as fast as MiniDiscs, we’ve scoured the depths of Tinder to bring you our very favorite Tinder profiles. Would you swipe left or right?
The family man Before you go jumping to conclusions, take a minute to consider the ol’ heavy breather’s motives: incredible dedication to his family and faith. And that unwavering commitment to recruit folks to his cause—think of everything you could annihilate together! What a catch! (alt: the ‘force’ is strong with this one)(alt: This IS the match you’re looking for.) The crazy one Who doesn’t love a little crazy? One minute the router is hot, the next it’s cold. Granted you turn it on and off quite a bit, but with a split personality like this, it’s bound to be an exciting and unpredictable relationship. One minute you have a connection, and the next you don’t! With no wires attached, who knows what will happen. The exotic one CAUTION: Contents are hot. This potential match is rich, sweet and full-bodied, but you could easily get burned. With all the variety and worldly experience coffee has to offer, you’ll be in line as one of many. Once you get a taste, you may end up hooked, feeling like you can’t start your day without them. The mama’s boy A man’s relationship with his mother speaks volumes. However, this is one relationship where second best will have to do. If mythology and cryptozoology are your cup of tea, you’re in for a treat. Oh, and know you’ll never be good enough for his mom—ever. The user & abuser There’s not a lot going on upstairs with the zombie—she’s got one priority and one priority only. While she might have a large group of friends and seem very “reanimated,” don’t buy into it. She’s got too many bad habits that could rub off on you. Go ahead and swipe left on this one. The sensitive nice guy What’s better than a goodhearted, loyal soul with some serious work ethic and will-power to do the right thing? You may have to get over the hairy feet and the height thing, but this is the type of person you could see yourself with for the long haul—maybe settle down have a nice Middle-Earthly kind of life in the Shire. But don’t ask him to put a ring on it—things could get, eh…complicated. The princess Be prepared to be at this one’s beckoned call. You may find yourself running from castle to castle and attempting superhuman displays of athleticism just to get noticed. Know there may be many other suitors waning for her affection, but you can win her over if you out perform all the others. However, she’ll probably still act like she’s out of your league—because she is. She’s a princess, duh. There’s no denying that technology has completely revolutionized the way we date, but unfortunately it can’t always help us with matters of the heart. Swipe left or right at your own discretion. Happy Valentine’s Day!