10 excessively high-tech products that shouldn't exist
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If you just happen to have an extra $4,000 you're gunning to spend, you could throw it down on this totally outrageous Evernote-equipped refrigerator. Samsung's T9000 made its debut at CES 2013 and is expected to ship this spring. A touchscreen version, the T9000 LCD, is also in the works, but no word yet on pricing or shipping dates for that one. Other than saving you an extra five minutes crafting your grocery list the old fashioned way, the high tech addition here doesn't appear to serve much purpose.
Speaking of totally useless crap (pun intended) to come out of CES 2013, iPotty (pictured above, left) is high on that list. To be clear, I have two toddlers-in-training, and I do not advocate using an iPad to ensure they poop on the potty. iPads are not cheap – sure, you can protect them with military-grade screen covers and unbreakable cases – but do you really want to think about the stuff that might have splattered on that thing when your tiny tot was using it to tinkle? No – guys, the answer is no
Scented iPhone Cases
“Hey, wow, your iPhone smells good,” said no one, ever. I think it's safe to assume that the last thing phones were ever intended for was sniffing. But now the sleek little slabs can satisfy all of your senses (OK, except taste) with a variety of scented cases. You can slather your iPhone in the bakery-fresh aroma of chocolate with this candy bar case from ThinkGeek, $9.99. Or maybe opt for something more crisp, like these fruity flavors, er, scents from Firebox's Jelly Belly line, $24.
Just when you think you've tried every fad diet in existence, the HAPIfork shows up. This chunky-looking utensil, is designed to help you eat slowly, in hopes that you might shed a few pounds. It accomplishes that by setting off indicator lights when you start eating too fast. It also measures how much food you consume by tracking your intake with what it calls “fork servings.” HAPIfork is slated to launch later this year and cost about $100. I'm thinking you can probably skip this one altogether and trade in a few of those carb-laden lunches for salads instead. You can also track your own eating habits and keep an eye on your daily calorie intake with popular, free apps like MyFitnessPal (available for both iPhone and Android), where servings are counted in actual measurements, and not by the number of times fork meets mouth.
Here it is, folks, the gadget that sparked this entire list. Duet by Crave is the most suggestive flash drive you'll ever see. But it's more than a suggestion, because this sleek little memory stick is, indeed, a full-functioning vibrator. (Yes, this is a real thing.) Correct me if I'm wrong here, but isn't this just taking the mingling of work and pleasure a bit too far?
Among other gear that has absolutely zero need for USB connectivity, let's talk about this ridiculous fish aquarium/desk organizer combo (pictured above, right). It serves as a home for everything you'd find in the typical cubical – you know, pens, pencils, smartphones, scissors and...fish. The filtration system, along with everything else that requires juice here (it also features a built-in desk lamp) uses your computer as its sole power source. Other than making a splashing statement in your office, this one just seems silly. ThinkGeek sells the Fishquarium for $39.99.
Here's a clothing item that takes social networking to a whole new level by simulating human-like hugs each time you receive a “like” on Facebook. It works like this: the jacket has air pockets. Those air pockets are designed to inflate when your smartphone signals a like. You can also take the virtual hug session a notch higher by returning the sentiment when you squeeze the jacket to deflate it. For now, it's just a prototype. Here's to hoping it stays one, or doesn't turn into a “like” powered vibrator.
If you've ever been in a long distance relationship, you know how painfully lonely the nights can get. This concept design aims to fill that aching void with a pillow that glows and pulses along to the rhythm of your lover's heartbeat. Totally not weird at all. Montgomery has yet to bring Pillow Talk (pictured above, center) to the masses, but according to her company site Little Riot, she hopes to make it happen soon.
Hey, look, it's another pillow with a complex. Unlike the soft, seductive square mentioned above, this one is actually functional. That said, it's still downright baffling. The Pillow Remote Control is exactly what it sounds like, melding comfort and convenience in one plush package that screams “Life is hard.” When extending an arm is just too much effort to switch over to your favorite "Law and Order" rerun, this one's got your back (and your neck). The Pillow Remote Control currently retails for $35 on Amazon.
There really must be something about tech and toilets. If the iPotty wasn't enough, mom and dad can enjoy their iOS devices while on the loo, too, thanks to this iPod docking station turned toilet roll holder. Let me just say, it's really not OK to ever bring your mobile devices to the washroom with you. Please don't do that.